I don't know which is worse:
Dr. Davis, Electron microscopy:
"It's like building a house….riding a bi-cycle"
"I hope everyone knows how a sink works…let me explain it to you."
"OsO4 will kill you instantly, and you'll know it."
"Now that’s nice and jagged…"
"Some people might come in here and drink [lab alcohol] and there are problems with that."
"[200 proof ethanol] is a marvelous carcinogen. Drink this stuff. Drink a lot. Your liver will suffer."
"I would not drink either of these. This is a college town. If you like to drink, go out and buy some."
"Damn, I'm a teacher"
"You can smell the solvent coming out of that lacquer," Dr. Davis, huffing nail polish
"If it doesn't…then you can try something that probably doesn't work."
"Herd the specimens!"
"We'll get to the end of the day and there'll be jellybeans with your name on them."
"It's radioactive…don't worry about it."
"Looks like I have enough gold to buy off Mr. T."
Dr. Silliman, Organic chemistry I(Texas A&M):
"Noble gases are the Michael Jordans of the elements."
"This is like the sumo-wrestler version"
"These are brother electrons, 'take some of my electrons here.'"
"It looks stupid, doesn't it?"
"Did everybody get an eyeball of terror?" (halloween candy)
"Hey this is better than WWF…or whatever it is."
"If no one shows up, I can't hold class, can I?"
"Raise your hands if you're cold… Sissies! This is like Canada!"
Dr. Watters, genetics:
"Meiosis is cool! Fun!"
"If you turn into a tumor at age 3 you won't reproduce and have babies…"
"Mmm, yum, sugar…"
"Your cells complain…you die."
"Telomeres - where the action is."
"'Where is my pairing partner?' DNA- on the hunt for the homologous chromosome."
"Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium NOT Henry Weinhard [west coast beer brand]"
"Everything causes cancer."
Dr. DeMaris, Theology:
"I love mucking around in P."
"I can run with the big dogs, I can piss as far as you."
"It's like dueling penises."
"He's an old, blind Rabbi, probably plays the blues too."
"I don't mind breaking copyright laws."
"He's kinda a Jumbo Jesus."
"Don't use cocaine…go to Sunday school."
"Mary is sleeping around with God."
"If men could conceive, birth control would be a sacrament."
"Jesus has dry skin…well, it IS winter."
"…get pregnant and DELIVER."
"'…Shut up, bitch!' theology."
"She's a sinner, a SIN-NER!!"
"Jesus said, 'Drink my blood, eat my flesh.' Yuk! That's cannibalism!!"
Dr. Hicks, Macroevolution:
"You can go down to the 7-11 in France and buy a Homo Erectus."
"Maybe Homo Erectus is a nicer person than we are."
"I lie all the time, people. Get used to it."
"Hey you! You want a piece of DNA?!" -bacterial cell
"Sears- the place to buy a Homo Habilis."
"…a creationist in a cheap tuxedo."
"A cow does an awful lot of belching."
Dr. Engerer, General Chemistry:
"I don’t know what minimum amount of 02 we need to stay conscious but we need to make sure we have whatever that minimum is."
"Regular cocaine is very water soluble and crack cocaine is more organic-like."
Dr. Goyne, Biochemistry:
“Engineers do a number of things that irritate chemists.”
“We have now officially beaten restriction mapping to death.”
“It looks like I’m bleeding here but it’s actually my pen…falling apart.”
“It’s OK if you do physics [homework] in here. I would feel bad if it were humanities.”
“It’s not a good idea to have a diet composed of completely saturated fat.”
- the fact that i wrote all these down
- the fact that i typed them into my computer after writing them down
- the fact that they are saved forever in a word file
- or the fact that they still bring tears to my eyes.
you decide.
Dr. Davis, Electron microscopy:
"It's like building a house….riding a bi-cycle"
"I hope everyone knows how a sink works…let me explain it to you."
"OsO4 will kill you instantly, and you'll know it."
"Now that’s nice and jagged…"
"Some people might come in here and drink [lab alcohol] and there are problems with that."
"[200 proof ethanol] is a marvelous carcinogen. Drink this stuff. Drink a lot. Your liver will suffer."
"I would not drink either of these. This is a college town. If you like to drink, go out and buy some."
"Damn, I'm a teacher"
"You can smell the solvent coming out of that lacquer," Dr. Davis, huffing nail polish
"If it doesn't…then you can try something that probably doesn't work."
"Herd the specimens!"
"We'll get to the end of the day and there'll be jellybeans with your name on them."
"It's radioactive…don't worry about it."
"Looks like I have enough gold to buy off Mr. T."
Dr. Silliman, Organic chemistry I(Texas A&M):
"Noble gases are the Michael Jordans of the elements."
"This is like the sumo-wrestler version"
"These are brother electrons, 'take some of my electrons here.'"
"It looks stupid, doesn't it?"
"Did everybody get an eyeball of terror?" (halloween candy)
"Hey this is better than WWF…or whatever it is."
"If no one shows up, I can't hold class, can I?"
"Raise your hands if you're cold… Sissies! This is like Canada!"
Dr. Watters, genetics:
"Meiosis is cool! Fun!"
"If you turn into a tumor at age 3 you won't reproduce and have babies…"
"Mmm, yum, sugar…"
"Your cells complain…you die."
"Telomeres - where the action is."
"'Where is my pairing partner?' DNA- on the hunt for the homologous chromosome."
"Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium NOT Henry Weinhard [west coast beer brand]"
"Everything causes cancer."
Dr. DeMaris, Theology:
"I love mucking around in P."
"I can run with the big dogs, I can piss as far as you."
"It's like dueling penises."
"He's an old, blind Rabbi, probably plays the blues too."
"I don't mind breaking copyright laws."
"He's kinda a Jumbo Jesus."
"Don't use cocaine…go to Sunday school."
"Mary is sleeping around with God."
"If men could conceive, birth control would be a sacrament."
"Jesus has dry skin…well, it IS winter."
"…get pregnant and DELIVER."
"'…Shut up, bitch!' theology."
"She's a sinner, a SIN-NER!!"
"Jesus said, 'Drink my blood, eat my flesh.' Yuk! That's cannibalism!!"
Dr. Hicks, Macroevolution:
"You can go down to the 7-11 in France and buy a Homo Erectus."
"Maybe Homo Erectus is a nicer person than we are."
"I lie all the time, people. Get used to it."
"Hey you! You want a piece of DNA?!" -bacterial cell
"Sears- the place to buy a Homo Habilis."
"…a creationist in a cheap tuxedo."
"A cow does an awful lot of belching."
Dr. Engerer, General Chemistry:
"I don’t know what minimum amount of 02 we need to stay conscious but we need to make sure we have whatever that minimum is."
"Regular cocaine is very water soluble and crack cocaine is more organic-like."
Dr. Goyne, Biochemistry:
“Engineers do a number of things that irritate chemists.”
“We have now officially beaten restriction mapping to death.”
“It looks like I’m bleeding here but it’s actually my pen…falling apart.”
“It’s OK if you do physics [homework] in here. I would feel bad if it were humanities.”
“It’s not a good idea to have a diet composed of completely saturated fat.”
